“Best Friend.” Just two words: but a handful of different people, a thousand different memories, and a million different emotions.
“Best Friend.” The words that remind you of the time they stayed up until 3AM to ensure you were feeling better after a terrible day, or the time you both got into trouble at school for doing something you warned them wasn’t the best idea, or even the time they threw you a surprise birthday party which your mates considered the most phenomenal party of the year.
“Best Friend.” Those words are so powerful, they must go beyond the person you met at the first day of school. And they do, so let’s talk about 3 of our best friends which we often overlook.
Our friendships without faces.
Firstly, we often forget about our best friends that live within us. Your dreams and memories, your faith and beliefs, your ideas and creativity. Put your hand up if you think a good friend is someone who supports your growth! If you have your hand up, I agree with you. A good friend is a human who is there to remind you about an approaching application deadline, or one that shouts, “you can do it!” when you’re having second thoughts about how that internship interview went, or one that gives you a gigantic hug when you get your acceptance email. BUT we tend to forget it’s also your dreams and aspirations that pushed you to apply to that internship, it’s your belief that holds your hand when having those doubts and, of course, it's your ideas and creativity that impressed the employer. So yes, a good friend is someone who supports your growth, and our best friends within us do a fantastic job at that. Now, while the friends within us keep us motivated, the world around us is also full of companions that offer comfort and connection in a more tangible way.
So secondly, let’s speak about the overlooked best friends around us. Sentimental objects like a special gift or a teddy bear, familiar places like your childhood home or the classroom of your favourite subject, or the calming and beautiful nature around us. Let’s pull some statistics out of my pocket from a Robin Dunbar study of more than 2,000 people. What did these 2000 people feel about friendship? To be considered a friend, there should be 34 hours of commitment from both ends, 25% looked for someone trustworthy, and 17% wanted someone who always had your back even during the tough times. Our best friends around us that we forget about also hold these qualities though, do they not? Is spending quality time around nature not proven to be beneficial to our physical and mental wellbeing, did your teddy bear not always provide a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on when you were feeling down as a child, or can you not always trust to take a breather in the comfort of your room when you’re stressed? Now, there’s also something else that stays with you like your favourite soft toy, and that’s the clock you can constantly hear. TICK. TOCK. TICK. TOCK. Let’s move on to my next and final point.
Time. Time is also our best friend. Our friends like our past, present, and future, like change, transformation, and growth, and like the rituals and routines that we rely on every day. Silly me! I have gone through almost the entire speech without mentioning my human best friend, so let’s go through my favourite things about her. I am super impressed by how she goes 100% in everything she does: she’s averaging a first in her degree, tries to involve herself in as many experiences as possible, and engages in healthy downtime activities such as reading. Furthermore, we know each other incredibly well! We know each other’s timetables off by heart, we know each other’s secrets, and she’d even surprise you with a few fun facts about me! Finally, I adore every single moment I spend with her: she is extremely easy to speak to, has a fantastic sense of humour, and we go on really exciting adventures. I guess what I’m trying to say is: between my best friend and I, there is a third friend. Time. The time it has taken for us to grow together to become inspirations for each other, the time it has taken for us to create past and present memories that we will keep with us in the future, and the time it has taken us to feel the security like a routine to share our biggest secrets with one another. And the three of us are really really close.
“Best Friend.” Those words are more than just the first person you text on Snapchat in the morning.
“Best Friend.” The words that remind you of the time your belief stayed up until 3AM to ensure you felt confident about getting into the University of Warwick, or the time you and your teddy bear got into trouble for staying up way past your bedtime, or even the time you took to experience the most phenomenal birthday party of the year.
“Best Friend.” Just two words: but a handful of different things, a thousand different memories, and a million different emotions.
Yes, even those friendships without faces.